dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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