My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
