Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
