My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
