College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
only you would photoshop your dick
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
