Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
