dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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