Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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