I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
