Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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