help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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