In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
