Hey man sorry I got all grabby
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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