dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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