why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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