Cold hands, warm shart.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
