it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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