I look better un-naked...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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