You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
