my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
