I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
