if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We are two peas in an std pod
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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