you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
When are your genitals available?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
