You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
