how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
