Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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