Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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