I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
