I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
