I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
