forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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