i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
