i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
