Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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