I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
