ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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