You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
