I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
