yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
