Umm I'm too high to move.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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