the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Randomize
