I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
