I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
