I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's shark week go big or go home
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
