Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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