Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
