we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
