Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
