This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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