Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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