hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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