so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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