So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
