You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize