If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
