were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
