I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
