I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
