I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
