so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
