It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
