I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Randomize
