Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Randomize
