You can't special order awesome
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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