we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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